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Catastrophic mess

Mess. Chaos. Disarray. Clutter. Jumble. Muddles.

I cant understand the things going on right. Well to lighten you up, I'm in a bit of a mess. A mess wherein everywhere I go, I would feel guilty, shame, and complete emptiness. You see I'm in a misunderstanding with somehow very important to me. I might not admit it in front of that person but yes, our relationship is very important to me. Im also stubborn. And so is that person! (Sorry, I'd like to keep this slightly private).

I also realized that everytime I have a problem, I would vent out all my thoughts and feelings here in my blog. *Sigh* Maybe this is my only outlet for now...throughout the years I've been more and more quiet or kind of keeping to myself the things that are bothering me. Well, since high school I guess...

All I'm saying is, I'm a complete Catastrophic mess and no one understands. No one would be able to comprehend my needs. Nobody can help me right now...

Summer Class Shenanigans

The start of my summer class is as nerve wracking and exhilarating at the same time. Well, even the night before Monday, I wasn't able to sleep well and the thought of school really pulled my strings. I was excited! I was really determined to pull my grades up now. I know 2nd semester was really scary and to say the least, I learned my lesson.

I was nothing near productive and my way of studying wasn't even conducive. I was a mess and I nearly failed! Guess that "near to death" experience really open up a new door and made me realize my studies should be taken care of now. 

I don't want to flunk and be a failure now. I have big dreams, I have never ending hopes and I still have to fulfill my destiny! If you know what I mean.

It may sound cliche, but this year's summer class will be different! It will be something worth looking for and as for my 3rd year in college, I will start everything from scratch! 

I know it will be hard but I think I can manage. I hope. ;)

 

The Never Ending Wait.

Its nerve racking. Mind blowing and its not an *Toot*! Currently Im waiting for my grade in Pharmacology in the internet. Our Instructor promised us to give the grade last monday, March 24. Sadly today is now thursday, March 27.

I am definitely on my wits right now. You see, Im not even sure if I can pass the subject. Everyone of us isn't sure. Im dreading it right now. It may be bitter or really sweet. But Im sure, if I'll pass I'll definitely strive harder now! Especially I want to get a "Parangal" again. 

And so, for anyone who's reading my Blog, please do pray for my soul!

The Final Wave.

Like those cliche things in Plants VS Zombies, my finals week is somehow like the Final wave. The part where every zombie would gather around and attack your house. And if you're lucky, they would not eat your brains.

As for my position fight now, finals week is like a zombie paradise for as Student Nurses. Even though I would only have 1 major subject exam, take note its not that easy! And as my status in my academics, I can only hope for the best!

May God bless my soul! I just need to blog my feelings out. I need to be in control of what I should be doing and not be doing. I should stop my monkey business and shenanigans. Time to rack my brains out and if Im lucky, would not turn into a zombie myself! Ha! 

2014 New Upcoming Movies 2014 - 17 Official Trailers

I cant wait for this! Damn! Who's excited?! 

My usual remedy for a stressful day, duty, life? A good movie marathon and a bag of chips and a lot of sodas. Say anything you want, when Im in the mood, I can be your typical Couch Potato. 

Passing of a great teacher. A friend. A true person.

It never occur to me that losing another teacher would also meant losing a part of what I am today. Last February 28, I was so frustrated about my day at school that I haven't even realize that I should be thankful for the life that I'm living instead of despising it because of the hardships it has given me.

During that day also, I found out through my younger sister Melrose, that our teacher way back in
Kindergarten passed away. I was shocked to hear this. I really thought she was already well and I felt guilty knowing I haven't even visited in the hospital back in high school when she was diagnosed of a certain disease or illness.

I remember when I was in grade 3 that she also had a stroke. Back then I would hold her hand and listen as she spoke to me. Hearing her raspy voice would never leave my head. Seeing that she was also guided by her husband.

Back in kindergarten, I remember she was the first teacher I ever lied to! I was so embarrassed back then that I never lied to a teacher again. They always find the truth. It was when I came to school in my civilian clothes. My brother who was already in grade 3 wore civilian clothes too, and so I assumed we would be doing the same. When I found out that we should be wearing our school uniform, she asked why I wasn't wearing it. I told her that my uniform got wet. I laugh now because I sounded stupid back then using the oldest trick in the book for an excuse like that. She then answered, "Hambal lola mo sakon ma civilian ka kay naga civilian ang mga elementary". I was shocked. I really was. A felt ashamed and I said I was sorry. But she forgave me then stating I should never lie again.

Thinking about it right now did changed me a bit. Though her impact on me really felt like she left without giving another teaching or advice. She was a teacher, an older sister, maybe a mother in a way but most of all, the sweetest person there is. Any kid who goes through kindergarten teachers will always remember how they were first taught in the confines of the classroom and how each nursery rhyme or song would be sung.

Bottom line, I do miss her. I miss her voice when she speak. It would always be soft, gentle, non commanding but pleasing, a little bit rough or raspy but the same amount of love in it. I miss how she would let us nap though I cant even fall asleep because she would roam around and give stars.

I wish that she had led a peaceful and happy life, that people would always remember her is her happiest and not in the times she was sick or in pain. I wish that I could have said goodbye to her, though I also dont because it will only make it harder to let go.
And to think we have the same first letters in our names.

Maam Willa, I will always love you and you have made a great impact in my life. You're my first teacher in WVSU and I hope that you had also touched lives of as you have touched mine.
You will forever be remembered, in our hearts, our mind, and in our lives.
May God welcome you with His loving arms.


Love,
Your student.