Life goes on, even if you don't want it to.

Its been a year. A year of fake smiles, insincere laughs, cold hugs, and empty words. I've been a walking dead-man.

I've been wandering around, searching for answers, draining myself from schoolwork and eventually just going on with my life without even making a hell out of every little thing I do. I've been numb, isolated, left out, blinded and emotionless.

Its all because of the pain I feel inside of me. A pain that nobody would understand. Maybe because I'm the middle child. I get this a lot. Im the one who gets left out. The one who is always on the side.

Even though I may not be always in the picture, I've seen everything. I've seen every heartbreaking event there is. I've seen the imperfections, the mistakes and the absence of love. And right now, I cant fathom this pain I'm feeling inside. That feeling of being so numb and dying at the same time. Depression? I might even think of suicide. But no, I know I'm stronger than this. I know sooner or later, THIS people will come to their senses and realize that we need to pick our selves where we left them.

It pains me a lot to know that I cant do anything to solve this problem. I am nothing...and so I can never remove this pain I'm feeling. And then I realize..life goes on, even if you don't want it to.

When will this pain stop? When will I find that peace again? That feeling of being loved, of being able to see the people i cherish the most being happy? When? And why did this ever happen? I know you may think that I'm just being overacting but you don't know my story and this is far beyond what you can imagine. 

My story, life, pain and suffering are different from other people. And no matter what happens people will never understand, and this pain is just another word to them. Another understatement.